• If My Son Could Post Status Updates on Facebook

  • [shareaholic app="share_buttons" id="6691858"]
  • 1. I played the best game with mom tonight – I kept dropping my pacifier over and over again. Every time I started crying, she would give it back to me. You’d think by now she’d realize that I don’t even care about my pacifier, I just want her to know who the boss is around here. 

    2. Why do mom and dad always get to eat things like meatloaf and all I get is this lousy applesauce? Do they have any idea how sick and tired I am of eating this crap already?  #nomorebabyfood

    3. Anyone want to know how to make sure your mom is late for work? Wait until she takes your diaper off first thing in the morning and then pee all over yourself and the carpet. She’ll have to change you and scrub the carpet. It works every time. 

    4. I seriously wish I could figure out how to knock over my jumper. Being stuck in here drives me insane, but I haven’t quite figured out how to escape yet. Soon enough. 

    5. Do mom and dad not realize that I’m smarter than they give me credit for? Every time I try to take their remote control, they give me a toy. Do they seriously think that they can get one over on me? If I wanted to play with my toys, I would. #therealthing

    6. If I want my mom, all I have to do is scream. She comes running every time. My dad tells her not to. He tells her that she’s spoiling me, but she refuses to listen. I guess it isn’t too hard to figure out which one of my parents I already have wrapped around my chubby little finger.  

    7. What is up with dad pounding on things when I’m trying to sleep? From what I’ve overheard, it sounds like he’s building something for mom. Quite frankly, I’d prefer to have a little peace and quiet.  

    8. I find it incredibly amusing to watch my mom pick up my toys repeatedly. Every time she picks them up, I dump them back out and start throwing them everywhere. Eventually, she’ll realize that she’s wasting her time. #makingamess

    9. I wish these crazy people would quit taking pictures of me all the time. As if that weren’t bad enough, they also have this strange habit of dressing me in stupid, itchy clothes. Don’t they realize how uncomfortable denim is? 

    10. Every time someone changes me, I decide that I have to poop. It’s like two for the price of one around here.

    Given the opportunity, what do you think your baby would post? Leave a comment and share your baby’s Facebook status updates. I can’t wait to read them. 

    Written by: Cristi Wuenschel

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