• What I’ve Learned From My First Labor, That I Won’t Do On My Second

    First, I will hire a doula. I didn’t think I needed a doula the first time. After all, I would be at a natural birth center with a fabulous midwife and my amazing husband. What would I need a doula for? Doulas support the woman in labor. Doulas are not doctors or midwives. Doulas are not nurses. They are there mostly for emotional support. They are there to give you a voice when you are in the midst of labor and cannot find your own. We ended up at the hospital. I desperately wanted a doula. I wanted a doula to silence the constant chatter of nurses in my room. I wanted a doula to give me strength when I was unsure of myself and my abilities. My husband was there for me the entire time. He told me continually that I was doing a great job. He stuck up for me when I needed it. …but it was his first experience too and he didn’t really know that it would be okay or that I was strong enough. This time, I’ll have a doula for that. 

    Next, I will not be so adamant about refusing the epidural. Let me clarify, I wanted a natural birth the first time. I want a natural birth this time. However, my son was nearly ten pounds and he got stuck. After 23 hours of labor, 23 hours after breaking my water, he was stuck. The midwife didn’t believe I could deliver him and wanted to do a C-section. I fought hard to deliver him vaginally. I was exhausted and in incredible pain with full Pitocin (I needed to be induced due to dangerously high blood pressure). When I finally consented to the Epidural, I fell asleep from exhaustion shortly after it was administered. I slept for 4 hours. When I woke, it was time to push. 30 minutes later my little guy was on my chest. 

    I had been terrified of the epidural. I was worried about lingering back problems. I was worried about the effects of drugs on my son. I was worried about the size of the needle. In the end, all those things seem silly. This time, I will still try for a natural birth. I will still attempt to do it without the epidural, but I won’t spend so much time being stubborn. I won’t wait until I’m faced with the prospect of a C-section to consent. I won’t let fear lead me down a path of suffering like that again. 

    Finally, let’s talk about the Vitamin K shot. I had two reasons for refusing the Vitamin K shot with my first child. My first reason was that all babies are born with naturally low levels and there’s got to be a reason for that right? We don’t know what the reason is, but surely there is a biologically sound reason for the reduced levels of Vitamin K in infants. The second reason I refused sounds silly to me now. They didn’t have the liquid and would only do it in shot form. I didn’t want them poking his precious little body so soon after he entered this world. I thought it would be traumatic.

    Looking back, I took a dangerous chance by not giving him the Vitamin K that he, thankfully, ended up not needing. As far as sparing him the trauma, a long battle with jaundice and the hospital pediatrician led to many, many heel pokes in his first three days. My poor baby is still terrified of anything covering his face after those awful “sunglasses” to protect his eyes from the bilirubin lights. I should have just let them give him the Vitamin K. This time, I think I will. 

    What did you learn from your first birth? I learned so much. I feel much more prepared this time. Even though I feel more prepared, the most important thing I’ve learned is that it won’t go according to plan. 

    Written by: Sara Parise



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