Sometimes Even Parents Whine

Play a board game.  A great solution, if you can find a board game with all of the pieces intact.  Chances are your toddler swallowed the one piece the 6-year old wants to play with, and he refuses to switch to the iron or the car.   You try to reason with him, as he screams at his little sister, in full volume, which only causes your blood pressure to increase.  

Sex.  Remember sex?  That exercise that caused the kids that caused your stress?  In case you’ve forgotten, it involves a block of time during which the kids are asleep or away, locked doors and hope that no one wakes up.   The last couple of times that this phenomenon happened, you could only muster enough energy to crawl to bed. You meant to make an overture, but you lapsed into a coma before the festivities could begin.

Gardening.   Nah…not even going to go there.

Cut back on Caffeine.  You mean the lifeblood of all that is holy?   Are you freaking kidding me?  Next!

Aromatherapy.  The last time you tried this, the dog knocked over the diffuser and the carpet smelled like lilacs for weeks. Very relaxing the first 10 times the scent wafted up from the floor. 2 weeks later and the damn smell is still there!  You end up renting a carpet cleaner, which blows your monthly budget, which increases your stress level.  

Balanced Diet.  You’re lucky to sit for five minutes to eat, much less the energy to actually cook a meal.  Is McDonald’s considered healthy?  

Manage Your Time.  Um, I don’t even know what to do with this one. 

Take a Walk.  If it wasn’t the middle of freaking winter, this would be plausible.  It takes longer to bundle the kids up than it does to do your taxes.  Even if the weather was nice, the kids would start their bitching after about 2 feet.  

Biofeedback.  ……………….

Breathing Exercises.  You have tried this numerous times.  And counting to ten.  Backwards.  That child is still crying. Nope, didn’t work.   

Written by: Allyson Johns