• What I Learned About Divorce Proceedings

    The law is not perfect.  Sometimes, the bad guys win.  Example – Casey Anthony.  But I have to give credit where credit is due, and her attorney did a bang-up job of creating reasonable doubt in the minds of the jury.  Hell, he had my undivided attention the entire trial to see what he would do next.  And the prosecution?  They focused on the wrong evidence (If I heard about Anthony’s mom’s time sheets one more time) and were woefully ill-prepared for the defense attorney’s tactics.  Basically, they blew it big time.

    You can protect yourself.  When the courts can’t give you satisfaction, you can take it in your own hands.  When my baby daddy was behind on child support, the magistrate actually told me that if I wanted to place a lien against his house, the process would be faster if I did it myself.  Which I did; and it worked.  My lien was paid before any other, including his mortgage, during foreclosure proceedings.  He caught up on his mortgage payments, and the proceedings were halted.  Don’t lie down and take it.  Take control – you are not helpless. There are always options.

    Do Your Homework. If your divorce is simplistic, and you can get the marriage dissolved (depending on what state you live in), there are ways to cut costs.  I drafted all of the documents for my dissolution, and it ended up costing us $250.   Not bad to leave a short-term marriage.

    This can and will get Messy.  Emotions are wreaking havoc on your life right now.  You’re crushed, blindsided, stunned, numb – a whole host of feelings vying for attention.  You have to soldier through and Do. Not. Take. Anything. Personally.  The Judge or Magistrate is not out to get you. Your spouse’s attorney is doing their job, as should yours. Use that numbness to your advantage.  Fight with every fiber of your being because no one is going to step up but you (and your attorney but you’re paying them to). Protect your children at all costs – shield them as much as possible.  This is between you and your spouse, not them.  The temptation will be almost overwhelming to clue them in on how you really feel.  Don’t.  If your spouse does, that’s on them. It will bite them in the ass later, believe me.  I only wished I had had popcorn when Karma came a-knocking.

    The legal system seems unjust at times.  A vast majority of the time, things can get political.  But it is there for a reason, and I firmly believe that it does work.  Make it work for you.

    Written by: Allyson Johns





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