Dear Mom Of A Neglected Child

Dear Mom of a neglected child,

Do you know that I had to call Child Protective Services yesterday? Not because I have it out for you. I didn’t call because I get any sort of pleasure out of it at all. Each time I have to make that call, I feel sick. My stomach turns and tears threaten. I MUST call. Legally, I’m obligated to call as a “mandated reporter.” That basically means they’re counting on me, if I don’t call, I’m in trouble.  The truth is, even if I wasn’t legally obligated, I would have made myself pick up that phone. Here’s why:

I watched your 30 pound preschooler eat three peanut butter and jelly sandwiches just now.  She said she hadn’t eaten dinner last night. There was no food. She didn’t tell me this proudly. She didn’t say it to “get you in trouble.” She whispered it with her head down. She was ashamed. She was afraid. She knows she isn’t supposed to tell me, but she trusts me.

She trusts me because I have been doing your job. I have been comforting her when she comes to school with scratches all down her arms. I know you aren’t scratching her. She is scratching herself. I’ve watched her do it when she is nervous or afraid. I shiver when I think about what this beautiful little blonde girl could be so afraid of that she would scratch her arms until she bleeds.

I have stopped her from hitting herself and assured her that no one will spank her for accidentally spilling her juice.  I have wiped her tears and told her “It’s only juice.” I have given her warm clothes to wear when she wore a sundress, two sizes too big, in January.  I have listened as she told me how she spent all night standing in the corner because “I made Mommy mad.” 

I know you are mad at me now. You blame me for having to “deal with” the case workers and the unannounced visits. You blame me for making your life difficult.  You talk about how moms shouldn’t judge other moms. You say you are doing the best that you can.

You are NOT doing the best that you can.  When I see you in the grocery line spending your entire state allowance on expensive weight loss smoothies and potato chips, that’s not the best you can do. When I send home clothes that fit and will keep your child warm, but you send her out in a tank top in 20 degree weather, that is not the best you can do.  

Last week you came in for a teacher conference. You said you were back with your husband. You said you two were “working it out.” I couldn’t even hide my disappointment. This is the same man that has abused you and your children. The same man you have had a restraining order against. 

This isn’t the first time I have called the services about you. I’ll keep calling whenever I need to. You see, I don’t really believe that ALL mothers are doing the best they can do. I can’t believe that after knowing you. A long time ago, I was your daughter. I was the scared little girl that no one was protecting. So, I’m not sorry that they are investigating. I’m not sorry that they are sending you to parenting classes. I’m not sorry that it’s inconvenient for you. 

You asked me if I would please not call them again.  To answer your question:  No, I will not stop calling until you stop neglecting your children.

Sincerely,

The Witness

Written by: Meghan Wilson